The Art of a Meaningful Life: Principles of Fulfillment

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, caught in disagreement with a partner or colleague, unsure how to effectively move forward? If so, read on—one of the most powerful keys to leadership and influence is understanding the deeper human needs driving our behaviors and decisions.

Yesterday, during a coaching session, a client shared a challenging situation with his business partner. They're launching a multimillion-dollar product but strongly disagree on the best marketing and sales approach.

His partner wants to initially offer the product at a very low price to quickly demonstrate value and gain market traction, expecting customers to pay more later. My client, however, prefers setting a higher initial price due to the significant implementation work required for each customer. He wants to ensure their team's efforts are fairly compensated. Given my client’s existing financial security, his primary motivation isn't money—he'd rather avoid sales entirely than become burdened with low-paying customers demanding extensive unpaid work.

The disagreement became so intense that my client considered leaving the project, a scenario that would negatively impact both partners. In fact, studies show that 65% of startups fail due to unresolved co-founder conflicts—many of which become manageable with tools like understanding the "Six Human Needs."

Here’s what I shared with him:

The root of your conflict isn't about business strategy; it’s about each partner’s preferred way of fulfilling their core needs. Identify the deeper needs driving each person's preference, then find ways to simultaneously meet those needs, and you will resolve the conflict.

There are six main needs we all try to fulfill as humans:

· Certainty: the need for comfort and stability, feeling assured that you can avoid pain and receive pleasure

· Variety: the need for excitement, novelty, change, and adventure

· Significance: feeling unique, important, special, or needed

· Connection/Love: feeling bonded or close with someone or something

· Growth: the need for continuous learning, development, and progress

· Contribution: the need to make a difference, give back, and contribute to something beyond oneself

Upon reflection, it became clear that his partner’s primary need was Significance. He feels important when actively hustling, taking bold actions, and pushing ahead. Remaining idle or patient made him feel insignificant, which was painful and unacceptable to him.

My client, however, prioritized Certainty and Growth. He required confidence that their efforts would reliably lead to meaningful progress. The uncertainty of unpaid or undervalued work caused him deep discomfort.

Their opposing preferences on pricing were "vehicles" to satisfy these deeper human needs. While there are just six needs, there can be an infinite number of different vehicles to fulfill those needs. As this was a short call, we didn't develop the solution together, but my client left with more clarity and renewed confidence. He resolved to initiate an honest, open dialogue with his partner to explore alternative solutions that would honor both of their needs.

Next time you encounter a disagreement or conflict, pause and consider:

·       What core human need am I trying to meet here?

·       What core need might the other person be seeking to fulfill?

·       How can I creatively meet both sets of needs simultaneously?

By focusing on these deeper needs, you create opportunities for solutions that genuinely satisfy everyone involved.

I’d love to hear how you navigate similar challenges. If you were in my shoes, what suggestions or advice would you give my client? How can you use the six human needs framework in your own leadership journey?